Wednesday, June 16, 2010

L&D? Is that like D&B?

The fun times just never end over here in my faux-functional gestation. Over the weekend there was more spotting. End of story. Thanks for playing. Please come again.

I am a broken record with this spotting business. It happened on Saturday, more than I've had in the past. I called Dr. POC to have her paged, but she had another doctor covering for her. I explained to him my whole disfunctional history of unexplained spotting. He told me to get thy ass to L&D to get checked. I, however, did not. I decided to keep an eye on it (which I didn't have any more over the weekend, so I wasn't worried about it).

Monday morning, I called my doctors office to let them know what had happened. Turns out Dr. POC was out Monday & Tuesday. I'll give you one guess what the nurses told me to do... Get they ass to L&D. I called the on call doctor back to let him know I'd decided to go, which was when he informed me that he'd talked it over with Dr. POC and she said not to go unless it had continued or gotten worse. So I didn't.

I'm seeing Dr. POC tomorrow for a regular appointment (and gest. diab. test). Am planning on having a serious discussion with her about all of this.

My main concerns are that the spotting stopped for 2 months, but has now started back up again. Is it going to get worse as the hostage gets bigger? And, if we can't figure out why it's happening, then how are we able to predict what will happen in the future?

In the beginning, I was fine with taking things one day at a time. But at this point, call me a nervous Nelly, but I want a healthy baby.

Why would I expect anything less than a faux functional pregnancy? It's awesome that my "normal" is classified as effed up for people with normal pregnancies.

To make up for the stupid look from last week, this one was taken yesterday at 27w

In other news, my feet have completely disappeared from view. I'm hoping the local kids don't get any cow tipping ideas.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


By not so popular demand...

Not sure why I'm giving myself such a bad look. It's probably a look of disgust from the breakfast crumbs all over my face.

Yes, I am sparing you (and myself) a bare belly shot, as my belly button is half in and half out at this point. That's hot.

Monday, June 7, 2010

How I got into p.orn

It's no secret that the jubley's take a turn for the enormous when one is in my condition. I have always been a fairly endowed girl so I looked forward to the increase in bustline with enthusiasm.

In the beginning, it was fantastic. Tiny little pouch of a belly, big honking bewbies.

But as the belly got bigger, so did the girls. So I went to our old friends at VS this weekend to have these ponies measured.... Let's just say the porn industry is the only place you can find a 32E. I'll be sticking with sports bras, kthanksbye.

I made an off schedule appointment with Dr. Piece of Cake today because I've been feeling generally run down lately, flu like, and lots of pelvic pressure.

At the end of the ultrasound, blood pressure monitoring, temperature taking, oxygen monitoring she told me it was normal pregnancy progression and to get the hell over it. Which I will promptly try to do.

My little hostage is getting bigger and bigger. And the living quarters are getting smaller and smaller. Turns out his head is lodged in my vag, which explains the pelvic pressure and vag pain I've had for the last 4 days. I asked Dr. POC how we could get him out of that position.

Dr. POC: Oh, he'll be out of that position in about 3 months.

Me: Who brought the comedian?

And then I punched her. And cried.

Apparently the preshus little bug is unlikely to move. He will just get bigger... and bigger... and bigger. Fun. I told K to imagine a bowling ball lodged in his rectum. That's right, think about THAT for the rest of the day while you're in meetings at work. Your welcome.

Anyways, I'll continue my quest to "getting over it." Wish me luck.