Sunday, November 15, 2009

Public Service Announcement


Predictability has been on the run in the Northeast US for approximately 15 years. Several attempts have been made to apprehend Predictability, including: BCP's, various hormone cocktails, and several hidden vagi-cam investigations. Current efforts include 50mg Clomid Days 5-9. Predictability has managed to allude all our efforts to date. If you have seen, or may know where Predictability may be hiding, you are urged to call our annonymous tip line.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Memoirs of a vagi-cam

I casually made the suggestion to my vagi-tech that it may be time for me to invest in my very own vagi-cam. She said that would run me an easy 300k. An ice breaker. As if I need one with this woman, she's seen my vag more times than my wax lady at this point (mostly because, oh yeah, I don't have a wax lady).

She leads me into the room, tells me I know what to do. I agree that yes, I do know what to do, but... Today is Day 3... She says, "not to worry, it's just the same, except you'll want to take your tampon out." Right, because I don't want it to become a nose plug.

You guys were right it was nothing at all. Nothing to even give a second thought. Clomid starts Friday and goes through tuesday, days 5-9. Oh, and my fun cyst has doubled in size. Clomid should be like a nice jolt of steroids for it. Fun! Next vagi-cam: 1 week.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This is how we do it

Friends, I am not going to dance around the uncomfortable nature of the question I need to ask. It’s not my style, plus, I think we’re beyond the sugar-coating.

I have a Day 3 vagi-ultrasound tomorrow. transvaginal, if you want to be grown up about it, which I don’t. Basically because I think “vagi” before anything makes it most hilarious. i.e. vagi-vitamin (aka progesterone), vagi-wipey (aka personal cleanliness products), you get the idea.

I am not a stranger to the vagi-ultrasound. On a scale of 1-10, vagi-modesty is easily at a 1. After so many miles on the IF highway, vagi-caution is thrown to the wind.

I have more concern over the Day 3 aspect of the appointment. You see, I’m worried that Day 3 will be the most ickticious day of my days.

The only time I have been… ahem… examined during this time was when I found out about the EP. They gave me vagi-wipey’s (see above) but it was a hot mess. I know these people are professionals and they deal with it all the time. Right? I mean, don’t they?

Internet bff’s, please tell me you’ve been there/done that and it’s not half as bad as I’m making it out to be. Please!!!