You hear sports players talk a lot about luck. Not cutting their hair or beard during playoff season, not washing their jersey's. You get the idea. Maybe you were into sports one day and adhered to those same supersticions.
Going through IF, I think a lot of us cling to luck and supersticions as well. Unicorns, rainbows, rabbits foot, ladybugs, they're all good luck.
I have taken my luck and single footedly smashed it. Literally. My sweet little ladybug that I have seen every day in my bathroom since New Years is no longer with us. I'm thinking about not shaving my beard and wearing the same oatmeal colored turtleneck for the remainder of this pregnancy to try to ramp my luck back up to an acceptable level.
6w3d
Things have been going well. I continue to pinch myself daily and wonder when I will wake up from this pregnancy hallucination. I haven't really had many symptoms either (except sore bewbies), to look to for reassurance.
We did, however, today get to see the little bug. It's measuring spot on 6 weeks and 3 days. We got to see the gestational sac, yolk sac and the bug. Neither of us cried, I think we were in so much shock that it wasn't a shark or something swimming around in there.
We didn't get to try to look for a heartbeat today, which was disappointing. But the bright side of that is that we get to go back next Friday for a repeat ultrasound to check for it then. For whatever reason the u/s tech felt bad about us having to come back next week. Wah?
Oh, you want me to sit here for another 20 minutes next week to look at this precious bug we've been trying to create for over 3 years? Please, tell me when the torture treatment is over.
Give me a break lady, I could sit on your table with the vagi cam all day! Mkay?
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In other news, my Dad's stepson has passed. After 5 days on life support they decided to take him off the machines. It's total devastation. It really is. I know many of you know what intense grief is like, I just wish no one ever had to go through it. It's heartbreaking. It's going to be a long road for them.
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Any advice on how to get my luck back? The dead ladybug is still sitting on the bathroom floor. Like I expect it to be resurrected or something.
The Quiet Zone
2 hours ago
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3 comments:
Ok Kansas,
It's all right. Stop the 'magical thinking' right now. You will be okay during this pregnancy, lady bug or no. I've got a four leaf clover in my handbag. Want it??
Anyway, the measurement and u/s details sound fantastic! Don't worry about the heartbeat-they're not concerned about it this early and usually look for it around 7-8 weeks. Hoping all goes well and also hugging you from afar.
Came here via Mel's blogroll for endo. Hoping for you!
sometimes people (even ladybugs) come in to our lives to serve a purpose. once that purpose is fulfilled they move on. thank your lady friend and smile every time you see one in the future, because you know something nobody else does about them.
enjoy your pregnancy
and massive congratulations
in contrast, my condolences regarding the untimely death of your father's stepson.
perhaps he is up there keeping your wee one safe until your baby's arrival with you... again - everyone serves a purpose in our lives, some are just far more difficult to determine
k
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