I am not okay

As in breathing into a paper bag. Not.okay. I am on the fast track to a fairyland place of communal living, where the inhabitants are constantly in a dream like state from the excessive amounts of meds that are shoved down their throats. This place, I lovingly refer to, is the mental institution which I am convinced I am about to be committed to.
I blame my continued anxiety on Google. What have you done for me lately Google? Why do I put myself through this sadistic mental torture?
Last night I was tempted, like you don’t want to know about, to sneak a happy little vicodin and forget about my troubles. Who needs Calgon? Vicodin, take me away!
I came in to work this morning to news that a coworker in another office had passed away over the weekend during childbirth. Apparently she hemorrhaged, the baby survived. This is so upsetting to me, I think it’s what started the anxiety this morning.
Also, one of my girlfriends is in labor today. I can’t even go there. Let’s not. We’ll “parking lot” that one.
Finally, I called my Dr.’s office and talked with her nurse about a Resident doing my surgery. I told her, in so many words, I realize that Dr. R has a medical degree from Tufts and I respect her medical knowledge, BUT my Google M.D. has better qualified me to make the call on how a Resident will play a role in my surgery. Yes I do realize that Dr. R was at one point a Resident herself. And I’d like to thank all those guinea pigs that let her practice cutting on them so I could have a fabulous physician and surgeon. thanksforyourcoorperationbuhbye. She’s going to run it by my Dr. and see if I need to sign a new waiver.
As if being this much of a spaz isn’t fun enough by itself, I get to have lunch with my boss and her boss today. Mm hm, that’s right kids. Can we go somewhere that is handing out prozac at the door? Puhlease?
As a very random side note, I have just learned that 8 people have viewed my blog! I find this hilarious because I treat this blog as my dirty mistress. Listen blog, let’s lay down the rules, I want to use you and abuse you with my filthy range of emotions, but if you ever go public on me I’ll deny it all. I do not pay you child support, I am not your baby daddy.
Omg, I have reached a new level of crazy. I have to stop myself. Clearly no one else will. It’s going to be a long day.
Keith is taking me out for dinner tonight. Hopefully I’ll have my marbles together by then!