Playing catch up

Never in a million years would I have imagined the chain of events that have happened in my life in the last couple months. I'm sure some of you can identify.

Here is my story...

DH and I started seriously TTC in October 2008 - We began doing BBT's to try to track ovulation.
January 23, 2009 - Saw my Dr. Her advice was to begin taking Clomid. Took the perscription home, but needed more time to think about it.
January 26, 2009 - I began having break through bleeding, which actually is pretty normal for me. I didn't think much of it. until it lasted for weeks. It would get bad every few days, and then slow back down again. This should have been my first warning sign that something was wrong.

February 7-14, 2009 - DH and I go on a much needed cruise to the caribbean. It was so nice to get away. Still having heavy spotting on and off through this time.

February 18, 2009 - At work I had severe pain in my right side. Just to the right of my belly button. I thought I ate something that didn't agree with me. But it was a pain I'd never had before. It lasted about 30 minutes and went away.A couple of days later I had the pain again. It lasted for about 30 minutes again, then went away. This continued every couple of days for about a week. The bleeding still continuing.The next week the pain was increasing in intensity and in frequency. By this time I was having pain every other day that would last for approx. 4 hours at a time. Nothing would make it go away. It was excruciating. But I had no pain scale to compare it to. I've never broken a bone, stitches, or even a cavity. The bleeding still continuing.

February 27, 2009 - By this time I was having pain all day everyday. At this point I KNOW something is wrong. But I think it's intenstinal because the pain is so high in my abdomen. I thought for sure I had picked up a bacteria or something from my vacation.

March 2, 2009 - My grandmother passed away. She lives 90 minutes from my home. I knew there was no way I could travel that far away from my home for the week without knowing what was going on. But I'm not sure if I should call my regular dr. for intestinal problems, or my gyn for the bleeding.

March 3, 2009 - I decide to call my gyn, because I know that the bleeding is not normal by this point. I never should have let it go on this long. My gyn tells me to come in the next day at 11am.

March 4, 2009 11am - I go to my gyn appointment by myself. I'm thinking maybe she'll put me on an estrogen supplement to get the break through bleeding under control? Maybe the pain in my side is my appendix? I'm clueless. She takes down all my symptoms and does a pelvic exam. The pelvic exam has me in complete agony from pain. With my feet still in the stirrups her nurse taps on the door. My urine test came back positive for pregnancy. I immediately become hysterical because I know something is wrong. She tells me we'll do an ultrasound and figure out what's going on. I call my husband and he comes right over.He didn't make it in time for the ultrasound. I went in a hysterical mess. This isn't how I was supposed to find out I was pregnant. This isn't how my first ultrasound was supposed to be. This isn't how my first pregnancy was supposed to happen.My biggest regret is that I didn't look at the ultrasound. I was too hysterical. Now I wished I had. The ultrasound showed that the baby was 6cm, that the tube was on the verge of rupturing, and that there was a blood cyst next to the baby. I was between 7 and 8 weeks.
12:00pm - My husband arrives after the ultrasound and we go into my dr.'s partner's office. She said that my Dr. is at the hospital and I had to meet her there to have emergency surgery. I'm still hysterical. She explains everything to us, but it's like I'm in a haze and I have no idea what's going on. She says that I shouldn't even be walking around. And I'm signing waivers for pregnancy termination, tube removal (if necessary), ovary removal (if necessary), blood transfusions, etc. It was all so surreal. I couldn't even process it.

1:00pm- We arrive at the hospital, get brought to a private room, and prepped for surgery. My parent's arrived shortly after. I am still hysterical, DH is terrified. They give me the maximum amount of morphine that I can take, it doesn't even touch the physical or emotional pain. They give me antianxiety meds for the surgery. By that time, I'm only coherent enough to know things are bad. And I wonder if I'll die. And I wonder if I die, if I'll know that I'm dead. And what would it be like.
A few hours later I wake up in the recovery room and find out the surgery went as well as it could have. She did not have to take my tube or my ovary. She chose not do a blood transfusion because of the risk associated with it. I was run down, severely anemic, and exhausted.

My doctor explained that I had ovulated normally out of the left tube. When it was fertilized it couldn't implant in my uterus because of the endometriosis. She said that it became too heavy to impant and was pulled up into the right side where it implanted in my right tube. I have no idea how she could tell all of this from the surgery.She said there was so much blood in my pelvis that she couldn't do anything about the endometriosis in that surgery. I will have to have another surgery before TTC again to remove the endometriosis. That surgery is scheduled for June 11, 2009. I have so many worries and anxiety about TTC again. But I know that is a bridge we won't be able to cross until we get to it.