T-shirts, charms, pins, OH MY!

I finally got some good news today. My blood work is back to normal. It brings mixed emotions. It’s good because it means that my body has and is returning to normal. It makes me feel bad though because I feel more removed from what happened.

A coworker just emailed me 121 pictures of his 8 week old baby. It was great at first. I’m so happy for him. But by about picture 87 my heart started to hurt.

Speaking of babies and newborns, I finally got to see my girlfriend’s brand new baby. He was 1 week old this weekend. I got to see her and him for a few hours on Saturday and most of the day on Sunday. He is absolutely precious. I had the best time helping her take care of him, and being there for her emotionally. It made me feel useful, which was such a good feeling.

This past weekend I decided to make an order on Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website. I was looking at their online shop, they don’t have a great selection, but it’s better than nothing! And all the proceeds go to the Trust. I’m going to get a couple of t-shirts, a few cell phone charms and a bunch of pins to put on my jackets. When I first saw them I thought to myself, “Who would wear those, it’s like an EP advertisement.” Well, I’m going to wear one. I’m going to be a walking EP advertisement. This is a part of my life and who I am and I’m not going to be afraid to talk about it. I’m not judging or criticizing anyone that would choose not to, I can certainly understand how it may be too painful for some. EP threatens women’s lives everyday. EP is the #1 cause of maternal death in the first trimester, and accounts for 10% of all pregnancy related deaths! I realize that pregnancy loss and infant death are taboo. People don’t like to talk about it because it hurts them, and it can make other people uncomfortable. EP is real and it affects people whether people acknowledge it or not. It’s real, it happened to me and it will NOT be a taboo part of my life. I will not forget it and I want everyone around me to know that. Even if I don’t talk about it everyday I haven’t forgotten about it, and I don’t want other people to forget about it either. So, I’m wearing my t-shirts, charms, and pins proudly!