Gimme 5

We've officially hit the halfway mark peeps! Holy hot damn, if the second half goes as fast as the first half I am going to be in a mother load of turd in no time!

I've been able to feel the baby boy move for about a month now, which is so cool, but still so surreal. As the weeks go on the movements are definitely getting stronger, it's still so bizarre to me to connect those movements to a human though. A human that is occupying my abdomen. And movements that are becoming distinctly body parts.

When K got back from Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago I thought for sure the movements would be strong enough for him to feel from the outside. And they were strong enough to feel from the outside, if only K was patient enough to wait for a movement. lol

At 18w5d I sat down and ate a bowl of ice cream to get the bugger moving. K would run in and put his hand on my stomach for all of 20 seconds before giving up. I kept telling him to be patient, to no avail.

Finally, at 18w6d, I was laying flat and he was laying on his side next to me with his forearm resting on my stomach. And then... out of nowhere... a little *punch punch*

Me: ZOMG, Did you feel it?!

K: Yup (sans my level of exuberance)

Me: ... Well what did you think it would be a high 5!?

I think he was probably a bit freaked out by the alien life form taking over his wife's body. Fine with me. I was excited enough for the both of us.

Words that start with F

17w2d

Omg, I am such a bad blogger. I know this. Dare I say... things have been... quiet?

No, I don't dare say that. At all. It's like turning your back to the ocean. Get ready cause you are about to get ripped by a big one.

That was a far more graphic image than I intended. If you have a dirty mind. Like me.

My days have been filled with constipation. And thinking good thoughts about Number Two. And FIBER. Lots of motherFLIPPING FIBER.

Constipation = straining = spotting. Another delightful image. Not bad though, just like 2 drops, and only when I wipe. And I've been for a gazillion ultrasounds, so we know there's nothing wrong with the bug or his/her uterine playground.

Dr. POC: Drink more water.

Me: If I drink any more water I'm going to drown my baby.

Dr. POC: Eat more fiber.

Me: Not possible unless I add more meals to the day.

Dr. POC: Take stool softener.

Me: Did you just say stool?

So I tried the aforementioned SS because the spotting and constipation was sending me into delirium.

I will not go into another graphic story about poo. But I will give you two words: Soft Serve.

And the SS's were no more.

I am going to try Act.ivia. Has anyone had success with this?

I give you my word (because that is worth so much), my next several posts will not include TMI from the heiny department.

Does this baby make me look fat?

This weekend we had a tiny peep show of my favorite season... summah! It hit a high of 70! Holy hot martha focker you can bet your sweet ass I was out in my bikini. No shame!

A couple hours later my father in law called and wanted to stop by. I told K to give him fair warning of the bikini situation, but that didn't sway him. Whatever, enter at your own risk!

Anyways, it was freaking fantastic. It's been in the 40's and raining since. Zzzzz...

In other news, we had an appointment with Dr. Piece of Cake yesterday. Everything really is a POC for her. She called me a flaming drag queen because I haven't stopped taking the vagi vitamins yet.

Oops, my bad.

Apparently, "most" patients stop them at 12 weeks.

Obviously I am "most" patients.

I asked her what the odds were that there could be a problem with the placenta not producing progesterone. She said 0%. As in, none.

So last night I did not take one, and I prayed to the gods of Ali Babba all night that my busy little bug wouldn't die.

Our next appointment we'll get to find out the gender, April 20th.

Is it April 20th yet?

And now for the promised bump pic, 15 weeks, sans bikini. I may have been willing to torture my father in law with my cellulite covered self, but I will NOT do that to you my friends.